Eat Dat Watuhmelon!

D00dz! Furry Wilderness backpacking trip! I will plan one one day - all I need is a group of furs who can live without civilization long enough to hike 40 miles! :D:D:D

... and I may still develop him, he would totally be a 14-point bull elk based on James Hetfield from Metallica. Hair, beard, guitar (ESP Xplorer), attitude and all. He would just need a Harley and a sweet leather jacket and he would be the sexiest man alive. *melts at the thought* ^_________^

I loved it. ^^ I drove over to Seattle to be with Zhim from Friday to early Monday morning. Friday we took a nice walk along the river by his house, went to his parents' home to babysit their three dogs (two new puppies!! So cute) for a bit, then came back to eat the dinner we'd cooked earlier. Saturday, Halloween proper, we went to a small party at his friend's condo. Zhim and one of the hosts mixed drinks, then Crystal (the only other girl - they know about me) and I chatted about books 'n stuff while sharing Tequila Sunrises and this great cranberry juice/grenadine drink and the boys watched monster movies. Then Sunday we all went down to the shooting range, where I shot Zhim's Mosin-Nagant for the first time. I kept the first four shells, as well as a few of the targets I used. I also got great grouping with Crystal's .22 pistol. :D

Then I made the drive back early Monday morning (and I mean *early* - like 4 AM) to arrive back in Missoula in time for my class that afternoon. But bleh, I wasn't ready for my little vacation to be over. I'll be going back for Thanksgiving (my holiday's too short to go back home) though, and everyone's very excited about getting to see me again. I know I am about seeing them again too. :)

Notes: I need to get two books off Amazon at some point - Illusions: the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah and Guilty Pleasures. :>

I realized earlier I've only written in this journal sparingly. I was thinking also that I've not exactly been that active in the furry world, outside of browsing art on FA every now and then and playing SL with a few of my friends. Well... sorry 'bout that!! ^^

Been really busy with school. "Really busy" is an understatement. It's retarded how much reading and writing goes into a program that you're supposed to be outside all the time in. And believe me, we ARE outside all of the time. We have field trips every Monday, Wednesday and Friday that take up the whole afternoon. Which is awesome, I love these trips, but they wear me out SO bad. I have two major essays due this week, I'll be going on what I *think* is a fieldtrip about forest management tomorrow, and this Friday will be the first Friday I've had off since before the Fall semester started. It's intense - this is a program I'll look back on and say "my GOD that was a toughy! But it made me stronger."

I've been feeling really lonely lately. I'm honestly really sad to be away from all the people I know and love - my local friends, family, mate, furry friends, everyone. I *kinda* have access to *some* of them via online, but nothing beats seeing real people in person. I've been having a lot of thoughts about transgender stuff too, as always. Remembering that I physically can't bear children is a recurring sobering thought. Overall I just miss being held.

I'm beginning to realize more and more that mattering to someONE is more important than mattering to someTHING. I've been thinking a lot about identity, and how important it is for me to feel loved by someone, and to love them back. This is finally becoming more important to me than my career... and I'm thankful for that, even if it does make me much more emotional. Maybe it has to do something with me wanting to feel more "like a woman?" I don't know. All I know at this point is I wouldn't mind being a housewife if it meant seeing a smile on my mate's face when he came in the door from work to see me. Maybe I don't want to be the "doe that changed the world" anymore? Maybe I just want to be someone's doe... that's a pretty good title right there.

Montana and the trip up here really has been a spiritual experience of proportions equal to that of the Big Sky itself. I left North Carolina around August 10th, and got into Missoula on August 17th, after four days on the road and camping for three days in Glacier National Park. That trip was nothing short of amazing. Lots of memories. Then despite being super busy with school since the semester started in late August, I've had a moderate amount of time to explore the state. I went into Idaho, which proved to be nothing short of spectacular. But I've been alone... that's the sad part. I'm not a buck, strong and solitary... does are soft, super social and need at least one person generally to stand behind or beside to feel happiest. Yeah I've got my phone, but I can only talk for so long before it starts to hurt my ear. I like going places with people; I like exploring and doing things. That's why I wanted to come out here, to explore and do things. And I have been - and I've been doing it with my school group. But it hurts knowing that those I'm with, regardless of how nice and fun they are, don't know me intimately enough for me to truly be myself.

On a more positive note, I've got just enough money to do something I've always wanted to do - I want to make time to go to the salon this week to dye my hair. ^^ Nothing unnatural - I want to dye it a pretty auburn red, like my fursona's hair color. I already have dark brown hair, and my mom's a natural redhead, so it's not a hard jump for me. I might get my hair styled while I'm there - it's finally long enough that I can do that and enjoy the results. ^^

I made pancakes this morning, and they are awesome. Raspberries in 'em, with huckleberry syrup on 'em. Woohoo for Montana flavors! :D

I went on a drive yesterday, about 7 hours round trip from Missoula, MT to Kooskia, ID along US Highway 12. The Clearwater National Forest is beautiful - the whole drive was along the middle fork of the Clearwater River. I saw my first moose along the way back!! Two cows, walking together through a swampy area looking for browse. Also saw a whitetail doe and what I *swear* was a herd of elk cows bedded down in a clearing (was probably just old stumps).

Well... yesterday was my getaway day for the week. Now I've got two papers to start working on for Literature & the Environment and Ecological Perspectives of Native Americans (hereafter referred to as EP of NA), both due "sometime this week," by word of the professors.

I'm kinda disappointed right now. One of the reasons I love the rocky mountain northwest so much is the opportunity to see, be with, and hunt elk and mule deer in their native environment. The problem with that last part is that Big game licenses for the state are around $650. Throw in the cost of your rifle, rounds and anything else it takes to get to where the animals are, and it's pretty darn expensive. My honey's right in saying that probably a lot of native Montanans feel the same way - they love being out here and having that same opportunity, but they can't afford to go hunting every year from the extreme cost of licenses and the low chances of the drawing process. From this standpoint, I'm very surprised - I'm sad that this state's own people sometimes can't afford to or are not allowed to hunt their own wildlife. I understand why, don't get me wrong - it's a complex ecological relationship. However, it's still aggravating, y'know?

http://fwp.mt.gov/hunting/licenses/nonresidentCombo.html

Well... maturity has to take over somewhere. I'll get me an elk someday. Maybe not this year, or even the next three to five years. But I'll go - I can make myself that promise at least. Maybe I just have to wait till I'm a resident up here - it'll be cheaper... and more meaningful to me as a Montanan than a Louisianan.

On another note, off across the valley from the window of my apartment, the peaks of the Rattlesnake Wilderness have their first snow of the season on 'em now. It's a really neat sight. I feel blessed to be here. :)

Hi everyone. ^^ I'm feeling a little bit better about Guiney. The urn hasn't come in yet, but everything's being worked out now. I think everyone's calmed down by now, and accepted that she's in a better place. I still hope she's well, and that someday we'll be reunited.

Yesterday evening I went on a hike up Mt. Sentinel, the University of Montana's pride trail. I'd hiked it before; I just wanna start hiking it once every or every other day for exercise's sake. While I was coming back down from near the summit, I decided to take an alternate path I saw, and I ended up being thankful I did. I got to watch a momma muley doe and her two fawns browse on the different grasses and shrubs growing on the hillside for a little bit, which was really nice - the way seeing deer outside the city limits or outside a cage always is. :)

There's actually a lot of deer here in Missoula - both muleys and whitetails. These past few days, I don't think a day's gone by that I haven't seen a whitetail or two (or three or four XD) in someone's yard or crossing the road. Apparently folks don't mind - nobody's complained about them yet. I do kinda worry about the herds being overpopulated, but my spiritual side is kinda glad to see people and the deer living together in relative peace. ^^

I just gave the order for my black lab, Guinevere, to be put down. She has throat cancer. She's lost roughly 20 pounds of muscle mass over a three day period, and the tumor is growing to the point where it's choking her. The vet says she wouldn't last the three days it would take for test results on the cell samples to come back, what with how fast the cancer's spreading. Even with immediate treatment, her quality of life would be so poor it wouldn't be worth it. She's in Tulsa, OK, so I can't come see her in time, and I'm very very sad. I've asked that she be cremated, and the ashes be saved. I'll pick them up from Ms. June (the lady taking care of her) when I get the chance.

She is and always will be my dog, just like Merlin. I love her and always will - I just can't stand the idea of prolonging undue and unnecessary suffering. She's probably the sweetest dog I've ever known, and she doesn't deserve the kind of pain she's in right now.

I'll have to tell my mom and sister over the phone tomorrow. I hope they can take it well - it's certainly pushing the limits of how much I can take.

Sleeping ponies are so kee-yute! ^______^

Hi y'all! Justin and I went to the beach this weekend, as he said in his journal. It was tons of fun, and about as romantic as I could ever ask. We saw the battleship North Carolina, walked along the beach, and camped out in his parents' camper trailer - all things I loved more than anything. Justin cooked some of the best steaks I've ever tasted, and he showed me the Atlantic Ocean - something I've never gotten to see before. I'm really thankful to have him, for who he is and the things we have done and will do. I can't wait to make this trip again. I love you honey - thank you for everything. ^^

Sunset From Johnny Mercer's Pier
http://i535.photobucket.com/albums/ee356/Dixie_Landoe/SL370428.jpg

Watching the Waves Along Wrightsville Beach
http://i535.photobucket.com/albums/ee356/Dixie_Landoe/SL370432.jpg

A - Age: 20
B - Bed Size: Queen (Justin's bed)
C - Chore you hate: Taking the babies out to the trashcan - the only fun part is the live one I put at the bottom.
D - Daughter's Name: I'd like to have a daughter named Daisy, if how she looked and acted struck me as such.
E - Essential item to start your day: French press coffee, the way my Pony does it
F - Favourite colour: Spell color right you Limy bastard. And a blend of metallic purple and hot pink
G - Gift you last received: Art from my boyfriend of my fursona pregnant, as requested
H - Height: 5'6"
I - Instruments you play: Guitar (electric and acoustic), canjo (yes that's spelled right, DON'T JUDGE ME), the fork in the garbage disposal
J - Job title: Forester in training
K - Kid(s): I'd like to have at least two - I wish I could have them myself, but adopting's just as nice in the end
L - Living arrangements: currently living with my boyfriend in his apartment; soon to have my own in Missoula, Montana
M - Mam's name: Rannah
N - Nicknames: Dixie, Dixie Deer, Dixie Doe, Slut, Pet, Zarthulia of the Fourth Nebula
O - Operations: Management
P - Pet Peeve: I would never name my dog Peeve. Other than that, people that are clingy, talk too much or treat me like I don't know what I'm talking about
Q - Quote from a movie: "I wish I could quit you" (my job)
R - Right or left handed: Up. (right)
S - Siblings: one younger sister
T - Time you wake up: 6:00 AM during school, around 10:00 outside of it.
U- Underwater or up in the air: Up in the air! I'm a pilot biznatch.
V - Vegetable you dislike: Stephen Hawking. He's too hot for a paraplegic.
W - Ways you run late: every 28 days - my fursona is pregnant THAT much. I'm deathly afraid of clothes-hangers.
X - X-rays you've had: I got X-rayed by the X-men. XXX-style.
Y - Yankees or Mets: Pittsburgh all the way - the incident at AnthroCon just made me giggle.
Z - Zoo favourite: the guy that got raped by the horse. And spell favorite right.

Hi everyone, I'm here to make you accept me for who I am. I have AssBurgers, and if you make fun of me I'll sue your ass for herassmint. I'm not going to bother getting this diagnosed, because I know I'm right. Justin's building me a hugbox as we speak (while I play video games, eat McDonald's and drink cheap beer naked), and soon enough I'll have more attention than my attention-starved body has room for.

Oh yeah, I'm a necropedozoophile that has lived in my parents' basement for 38.14159265 years and has a speech impediment. I demand you draw me free artz as a way to express how sorry you feel for me and me unreasonably persecuted predicament.

Hi everyone! Justin and I made it back from AnthroCon in one piece - just wanted to say so for all those I met in person at the con. I had SO much fun, and getting to meet my friends and talk without using a keyboard made everything just that much better. <3

I'm really sorry we couldn't stay Sunday night after the closing ceremony. We ended up experiencing a misconception that lead to our needing to be out of the hotel room before noon. Justin had to change into and out of his fursuit in my truck - it was cute. :>

This was my first con, so it was super special already. I bought a few pieces of art that I liked, got two small commissions, and actually received an absolutely adorable conbadge as a gift (thank you Tsu! ^^). Watching 2 and Kage was fun, the fursuit parade was neat (especially because my Pony was in it!!), the party in Sporty's room was great, and just overall being able to see a bunch of furries in a big room all in person was a nice experience. Next year, I'd like to go to some of the panels, and we'll be trying to get into a hotel closer to the con, but I can definitely say I look forward to going again. Thank you all for making the times we had so great. :)

Hey y'all! We're goin' to AnthroCon! Starting the drive now - yes we know it's a day late and the parking will be horrible (that's why I got my Pony doing that. ^__^). Anyone who's in the parking garage/lot/whatever y'all have, look for a big blue truck with a matching camper shell, a Confederate flag license plate, and a rubber elk head for a hood ornament. I will have a few conbadges, and I'll probably be wearing my trademark Aussie hat. :)

http://redneckfur.livejournal.com/11910.html

Hi everyone! Justin made a post on our camping trip to the Smokey Mountains already, and he pretty much said everything that I wanted to say (except for the part of him beating me while I wore silks and handcuffs), so I'm just gonna link to that. :P

Btw, he's giving me head. ^_^

I'm a-goin' ca-yim-pin'! We's gowna have some fun! :D

Seriously - headed to the Smokey Mountains with my pony. ^_^ Then we're going to AnthroCon, which will be neat too! I think I'll like the mountains better though. :P

IT'S DONE. :O

Got done packing last Thursday, moving truck came Saturday and after a lot of hard work we got all the stuff from my house in Haughton to the storage place in Fort Worth, in which it miraculously fit. Sunday I stayed with my friend Sylver for one last game of D&D and spent time with her, then Monday and Tuesday I spent driving from northwest Louisiana to Hillsborough, NC to be with my pony. Thus far it's been fun, I love him, I love his friends, I love the area, and they got some darn good coffee and Waffle House. :P

Justin, Alo (a friend of ours) and I are all about to go somewhere fun, it sounds like, as soon as Alo gets in. Then tomorrow Justin and I want to go on a hike at the local park. :)

Well, it doesn't *feel* like I've gotten a lot done, even though I have. The kitchen's done except stuff I need to cook with. The dining room's done, most of the pictures in the living room are packed, as well as all the shelves and such. I packed all of mom's candles and delicates, now all I have to do is take apart some metal storage bins. I have everything but a heavy bench and mom's lighthouse fountain moved from the front yard to the back. The whole hallway around my room is done, leaving only the stuff I'll be taking with me to North Carolina and Montana. A neighbor and I also got all the stuff from the attic down, so now the garage is *full*.

Mrs. Ginger and my sister came from Fort Worth this weekend to check on the progress of my packing, as well as to get all of the still-good food out of the freezer (except what I wanted for this week) and throw away all that was bad. So now the freezers are thawing out, so they'll be ready to be cleaned Thursday or so. The GOOD news is... we've got the moving date scheduled for Saturday!! Come this weekend, I'll be free!! I'll be then staying Sunday after driving back from Fort Worth, then leaving early Monday morning to go to stay with Justin. I'm looking forward to it more than y'all can believe. ^^

Ms. June (the lady who's been helping me pack and who's done the best job of anyone thus far) just left for her home in Tulsa with my dogs, Merlin and Guinevere. It's kinda lonely in the house knowing that the only living thing here with a name is me - aside from the help I'm getting from friends and neighbors. What I mean to say is that despite how little time I've gotten to spend with them these past two years due to work, college and packing, they're still my best friends, and I'm really gonna miss them for the next year and however long after that they'll be up there. Ms. June has their vet records, all their food schedule, bowls, leashes, heartworm meds, etc, and out of all people I know, she and her son are the two people I would most trust with my favorite family members. I think when I swing through Oklahoma on my way to Montana this summer, I won't have the heart *not* to swing by and see them - I'll really be missing them by late July. Darn right they'll be going with me when I move to the northwest to live and work.

At any rate, now that they're gone, I really want to speed up my packing so I can get out of here ASAP. I've been at this for too long, but I'm on the home stretch. Most rooms have only one or two things left to do. Tomorrow late afternoon I'll be getting help from some neighbors after they get off work, which will be AWESOME. I find I work a lot faster when I know someone is there with me working just as hard as I am. It motivates me when I have someone there with me who can say "yeah, I know how you feel." Ms. June and I went through the house and made thorough lists of everything that still needs done, so I can check off the list to show myself a progress report.

Merlin's kinda mad at me right now - he and Guiney got their first baths probably in their lives tonight!!! I took Merlin and I took Guiney, and I'll say - Merlin and I wrestled more than I washed him!! Husky hair was ALL OVER the tub, the floor, the wall, the water, MY FACE when we were done - I think I pound-drove him four times, he ran out of the tub five, and I learned the ultimate method of "dog-tying" an 82 pound dog and throwing them in the water by their feet and neck. They smelled and looked so much better though - Merlin smelled like Axe "Phoenix" and Guinevere smelled like lilac, and both of their coats just shined with this clean radiance. Was nice. Oh yeah - apparently I look pretty funny with white dog hair all over my face. :P